Question by : Kids too old to be in back, coming from a man who’s not their parent?
SHORT QUESTION – Is the rule “no kids under 13 in the front seat” ridiculous? If someone who was not the child’s parent told you one of your rules was ridiculous and stupid and would cause the kids to hate you, would you consider refining it, or tell them to mind their own?


First, I have 6 younger siblings, ranging from almost 2 to barely 13. I raised 4 of them up until January when I gave 70% custody back to their bio mother. However, I still OFTEN have the kids anywhere from 1 night to a couple weeks, and it might be one kids, or it might be 4-5.
My SO & I are serious, and we plan to live together in the future, and hopefully marry. For the time being though, we lead our own separate and independent lives. My SO buys what he wants when he wants, even plans future moves, housing locations, and careers without me. He says he’ll only do things that benefit both of us, and I *DO* know he’s planning a good future together, however he doesn’t TALK to me about what I THINK. Example – Instead of “What do you think of the Veloster? Would you be okay with me getting this one?” It’s “I’m going to get a Veloster when I go back to work.” (medical leave) and “It can fit your dog or a couple kids in the back, and the gas mileage is good for me going to work and back, and you traveling a lot.”
However, when I mention wanting my next car to be a Tahoe, he FREAKS. As in, started screaming at me about how it’s not practical for both of us and our future because it’s expensive and has poor gas mileage.

Thing is..I need a vehicle that can fit up to 6 children at once, AND can pull a loaded 8 horse trailed plus a boat.

When he mentioned “the kids will fit in the Veloster” I said “No, it only has 4 seats total..that’s 2 kids” He said “You can fit more than that in it! If you take the kids and I don’t go along, you can fit them all.” I said “I will only take as many kids as there are seat belts, and I don’t allow the kids up that’s two kids..because the car has 2 back seat belts.”

He then switched from being angry about the Tahoe to SCREAMING at me that I treat the kids like they’re still 2 and that them not being allowed up front is ridiculous and stupid, and flat our said “they’re going to hate you for the way you treat them.”

First of all – I’m furious he said that. It’s inappropriate, disrespectful, and rude, to tell someone that the things that mean everything to them and keep them on this planet are going to hate them in the near future.

Second – They NOT his children, and he’s never been responsible for them or even close to them. It’s not his place to judge my parenting, as we do not have our own children together.

Next – My rule is no children under 13 up front, UNLESS they have met the height/weight recommendations for up front air bags before they turn 13.

Being stupid & ridiculous? Or tell him to get over it & not speak of it anymore, certainly not scream at me about it?

Best answer:

Answer by Margarita
It’s better safe than sorry when dealing with kids in the car. It’s not a ridiculous rule and they obviously will not hate you for it. They might complain sometimes but they will always know that you are safety conscious and that’s a good thing.

It’s really not his business since you said at this point, even though you are planning a future together, at this point you lead separate lives.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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